38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Randomize
