Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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