Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
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mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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