Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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