They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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