o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
