I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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