i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
