if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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