Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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