I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
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Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
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we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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