So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
