i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
