Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
