That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
