Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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