I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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