tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
