you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
