how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
