Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
