So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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