I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
