I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize