was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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