I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she told me i tasted like america
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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