We got so high we made milksteak
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
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like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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