your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
