Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
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She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize