She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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