Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
