I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
