If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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