Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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