It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
