I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
