when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize