he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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