I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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