mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize