it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
