i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
