is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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