When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
