Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
