i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I love you.
Bad choice
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
