Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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