Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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