dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
