I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize