do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
