marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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