if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
