Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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