We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
