Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
