It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
