I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
