You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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