I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize